Payday - Do you Fear Yours?

Since the garnishments started over 6 months ago, I have grown to hate payday. Everytime I get my check I open it with the naive false hope that somehow there has been a book keeping error and the garnishment won't have been deducted. Yesterday was no different. I knew I owed my mortgage (late from the 1st), the bounced check fees outstanding on my account, the insurance (2 months late), my electric bill (late from the 7th), and my gas bill (late 2 months and ready for disconnect). In total I needed to make $1580. My check pre-garnishment was $1150. Post garnishment = $755. The bank took their fees off the top since my pay goes direct deposit and what is left? I check my balance and cringe when I see $435.

So what now? I was intrigued by the story on Yahoo's front page yesterday about the doorman that won $5,000,000 on a scratch off ticket and still couldn't afford an apartment in his building where he worked on Park Avenue. I don't buy lottery tickets. My fiance's stepdad calls them a "poor man's tax". If I happen to buy one, I have the clerk slide it into the bag and refuse to touch it. I don't want my luck to taint the ticket! I have my fiance scratch it when I get home. In 15 years, we've ever only won about $3.00.

Yesterday felt different. I was already in the hole and I was feeling inspired by the doorman's story so I went to my local Circle K after work and bought $20 in scratch off tickets. Now for all of you responsible soals who feel this was the stupidest thing I could do I would normally agree. Once you hit the type of hole I'm in, your logic tends to fly right out the window. Well, someone must have been smiling on me yesterday because for the first time, all three tickets were winners. I won $122 and you would have thought I'd won $1,000,000. That paid my insurance. I know this isn't usually the luck I have so I stopped there (what with today being the 13th and all) but it does give a person a glimmer of hope that there will be light at the end of the tunnel of debt.

The point of this post? If you are struggling with debt, I am there with you. It can leave you with overwhelming feelings of doom but you do have to step back once in a while and remember to feel grateful for the little things.

**The kicker? I got a letter from the lawfirm yesterday that is representing Beneficial and they were demanding that I contact them or they will take further action. Further Action??? They already took me to court twice and put a lien on my home and are garnishing me every week? Do they not even know that they are doing this? Probably not. I've been tempted to call them and rip them a new one for being so lax in their own paperwork but I've restrained myself because I don't want to make things worse. Does anyone else have experiences with Beneficial and debt? I'd love to read your comments.